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The Lies We've Believed About Fear

I have heard people in psychology, alternative medicine, and other fields talk about the damaging effects of stress on a person's mental and physical well being. The greatest cause of stress in any person's life stems from fear.

We have been told that there are two reactions to fear, fight and flight. There are two main problems with this theory and that is this theory...

1) Focuses on the person, thing, situation, etc. that is causing the reaction of fear in that you must fight (aggressively attack), or flight (run away from) it. It is like modern (western) medicine in that these reactions hide the simptom or make it worse rather than curing the underlying issue.

2) Do not even address the third reaction to fear that every person has experienced to some degree, and that is the most detrimental in that it will not let you fight or fly. This third, untalked about, most prevalent, and most dangerous reaction to fear is paralysis.

Paralysis is the reaction to fear that traps people in bad environments, toxic relationships, unprofitable employment or business pursuits, etc. This reaction to fear can cause a person to at the least make self-damaging decisions, and at the worst commit suicide. Some think this might fall under flight, but to a person paralyzed by fear, what is on the other side of flight is too frightening to face so the only recourse is to not move from the point in time that they are at now, therefore death.

These are extreme cases, and the people reading this just like the rest of my clients, need to consider this information because entrepreneurs can use fear as their catalyst to commit financial suicide if they pull back or stand still at a crucial time when they need to move forward.

It is times like these that you need to draw on every ounce of faith, self-reliance, teamwork, and other sources of support you can find. The most frightening decisions that could launch you and everyone that depends on you, into the homeless shelter and bankruptcy, are the same decisions at the same crossroads, that could launch you into the next level of success and financial independence.

It all depends on your story. I know you have heard it before, what is your life story? Write it down. Now, how can you rewrite all the negative perceptions into positive ones. Every self-help guru is open to telling their story. In the spirit of sharing will give a tiny portion of mine as an example.

Original story: My mother tried to abort me in a time when abortion was illegal. She starved herself so that from the time she found out she was pregnant to the time she delivered me she had lost 10 lbs. She worked in x-ray and did not wear her lead apron for the duration of the pregnancy hoping it would kill the fetus (me). She also climbed a ladder to the roof during her third trimester and jumped off the roof to end her pregnancy. When all else failed she decided to commit suicide but on her way stopped at her sister's house to say goodbye. It was there, surrounded by her sister and three of my older cousins, that her water broke. Instead of her being able to leave and kill both of us, they insisted on escorting her to the hospital where I was born. I was born full-term but only weighted about 2 lbs. I spent my first couple months of life in an incubator with needles sticking out of me. From there I grew up with my mother telling me that I was not worth the air that I breathe and that I ruined her life.

New story: Against all odds I was divinely protected and preserved. God loves me and has a plan for my life. I was gifted with deep and abiding compassion and empathy for people who are alone and suffering. I went from a tiny, underdeveloped offspring to a healthy, thriving, successful adult with overflowing abundance of life, love, and joy to share with others.

Now, rewrite every painful moment in your history that can cause you to be paralyzed, run away, or become selfish or aggressive. None of these reactions to fear are healthy for you or anyone around you.

With patience, intellectual analysis, and courage look at every situation from every side when making decisions. This is where you may need help from others. We all need help from others more than any of us care to admit.

This is the reason I started Apex Momentum Business Development, so no one would feel alone during the inevitable decisions and struggles to take their business to the next level. From launch, through growth, and even to your exit strategy, we are here to help.

I have placed a couple of my positive affirmations below. I use an android app to remind me of a different one daily. Feel free to download any of these that apply to you, find some on Pinterest or Facebook. Take some pictures or favorite art, and write your own affirmations from your new story overtop of them in paint, or other art program. Take control of your mindset and instead of reacting, be proactive so there is less to fear in life.

Every blessing to you all.

- Tamara

Apex Momentum Business Development, LLC

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